sorry made a mistake. any ways....

 

1 Nephi 7:15 states And now behold I say unto you that if ye will return unto jerusalem (our past sins symbol to me) ye shall also perish with them. and now if ye have choice, go up to the land, and remember the words which I speak unto you, that ye go ye will also perish; for thus the spirit of the Lord constraineth me that I should speak.

this spoke to me of the answer i needed. We cann't dwell in the past.. Rafiki even teaches us that in Lion King when he hits Simba on the head with the stick... it's in the past it don't matter, but it still hurts... so what are you going to do about it? if you forget about it the pain will ease, if you focus on it you can make yourself believe you are growing a crown on your head!

I feel so strongly that mistakes happen and people make them. Don't let someone's poor decision ruin how you think of them. The power of forgiveness is real, as God forgives and we hang on we shut people off from being able to grow, or stunting their growth when it finally all comes out. I know that God lives and loves me.. he is only a prayer away. it is literal and it is refining. I am understanding more and more why things happen and even when I don't understand I can still look to God and know just as Nephi did that all things are for the intent to bring souls unto christ.. even if it means getting them on their knees first. I hope we can all strive to forgive and look to the future. my firend told me this last night what's in the past is concrete, you can't change it and trying is just messy and unproductive, but the future is cement and the way is not yet paved till we start molding it. get out your shovels and blueprints people we got some molding to do if we are to end up in the kingdom of our heavenly father!

 

can't wait to find out matt's excitying news good luck, I lvoe you!!

 

Sista fili

 

what a week. i was a little ill this week. it's a bug going around but i am fine now, no worries. Sister Brooks was really good to me and cooked for me and just made sure everything was taken care of, I really felt so blessed. I am so lucky to have people around me that care and love me that help me to remember God's love.

So t Brower... no one told me where he's going!! St. Louis.. Missouri? soooo cool. I am soo proud of him. he will be amazing. Is Amber going to wait for him? and Blake lesuer.... wow, he worte me at the beginning, I thought about writing him and finding out what's gonig on.. guess I won't be donig that. Any more news on mcKenna? Jojo love her and Tyler is SOOOOO perfect for her. I love them. I can't wait to talk to them at some point. can I please get thier address? or the tuckers address? I have an elder in my ditrict who may or may not need to steal her heart from this guy, or at least be given the option.. he's practically in lvoe with her.. he's a toro too :) girl's got it going on, what can I say.

Grandma nancy... birthday time!! I sent them a postcard today, but I failed to put happy birthday on it... good thing grandma usually doesn't mind that stuff. hopefully it hasn't failed me still!!

So packages go to the mission home and our zone leaders pick up our stuff whenever they go to the mission home and give it to us at district meeting on wednesday's. sometimes it's everyother week, sometimes it's every week. just depends, but I am excited for the package and will let you know when i recieve it. thank oyu so much!!

I feel at a loss of words right now for anything but the power of the Saviour's grace. I was reading in 1 nephi 7:17-18 this morning and feeling very connected to it. God answers our prayers through the scripures we read when we ask and sincerely seek to find. I was struggling this morning with a great question and one that I promised I would not do anything else until I found it and God knew it and gave it readily. I am grateful for the miracle of forgiveness. It trully is a miracle and something that is not easy, but sooo necessary. if we can't forgive the past than we will perish. in verse 15 it talks about this.. to me at least...

 

Family. What a glorious day it is today.. pday is always a joy. I woke up this morning for the first time in a while wondering where the heck I was and what I was doing with my life. You can tell my nights rest was that fantastic full of dreams that didn't make sense and some were borderline scary in fact, but none the less I woke up and was sooooo happy to say oh it's pday!! haha silly, doesn't really make sense, but maybe someone of you have felt that before in your lives. I guess it kinda goes with my thoughts a little yesterday.. not trunky thoughts, but thoughts regarding who I am today and who i will be because of it tomorrow. I really thought about the member I will be when I have completed this full time missionary experience and how the type of missionary I am now has everything to do with it. God has given us such wonderful opportunities to live and breathe and have experiences in life that coinside one with another. Each effects the next one perfectly, although it may seem that way at first, it is sooo true and I am realizing it everyday more and more. I love being a missionary and some mornings I make myself giggle when I wake up and my dream land, is my reality!! iIt's kinda crazy.. but then I think maybe that's life.. this is all but a small moment and everyday can be a dream land made into reality if we choose to see it that way. I always think of my old acting teacher who asked if your life could e a sitcom or movie or musical what would it be.. dud my life is musical, sitcom and movie!!! I tihnk each of us have it in our own way. It doesn't take grand things to make a movie, it takes the simple miracles of life to make someone's day brighter and we have hold of them each and everyday. It's all in the way we look at it.

"Even if you cannot always see the silverlining on your clouds, God can, for He is the very source of light you seek. He does love you and He knows your fears, He hears your prayers, He is your Heavenly Father and surely He matches His own tears with those of His children."- unknown

Another quote from my lovely working buddy!

So Aunt Mel is going to be in my prayers.. poor thing. Scare me silly reading that!! But I am so glad everything is ok with her now. Just keep me posted. And McKenna... ya you don't need to save the details till later!! I'll forget to ask. Do tell now please :) I can't wait to recieve the contacts and stuff... THANK YOU MOTHER!! and pa for supplying me with the things I need.. and anyone else if they were involved in the process. Sonmething I love about our family is that it's usually never a single effort loads of times it's a group effort. We really have worked to work together and I love it.. it's rare people!! So Amber choreographing makes me sooooooo happy!! I lvoe it. I thought about it and she is brilliant for that, total dancer and performer and great with kids. I bet she loves it too. especially if they all get on in a focused manner. And that they are all sooo unified and love it when matt comes. man somethings just give me the chivers of joy and that is one of them. So which AOL group ou talking dad, Aol #1 or AOL#4 winter season? Both were golden!

I love that Kendra, Carrie, and Alexis are my freinds and come over to talk to you. Really I almost cried reading that!! i tried to print off the picture kendra sent me of you and her.. but it didn't work and now I can't pull it up at all.. dumb (so kendra feel free to send it agin.. I'll be smarter with it this time!!) But really thank you mum for being cool enough that they want to come and thank you carrie and kendra for going. I feel like i was there in a strange way, even though I wasn't. Jen are you gonig to AZ anytime soon? You said you were gonna... hmm ;) jk.. you do too much!! I feel so blessed to be amongst such incredible people who show their love for me and my family so often. We are a rare people!

So politics... people here try to talk politics, but they don't really know much and I don't know anything officially, so I just say haven't been there in a while don't knowdon't care.. which is a semi lie but according to the white handbook we're not supposed to care, but I appreciate your updates so you can continue!! I love it. It is so interesting and i am excited to find out. will I be back in time to actually vote? man it's crazy. dad i fully agree some companions are given to slow down time.. but with this one it's spead up incredibly... so maybe it will be with the next companion. I actually feel really blessed to have the companions I have had. It's usually always me making the conflicts... haha real surpriser. But i mean it's a two way relationship and luckily it's never in the missionfield acually eternal... so wei're good. But I do miss Sister Lauritzen. We were an old married couple, pair of sisters. I hope she visits you when she goes to visit her brother in pheonix, she said she would!! Who knows.

So Savannah is getting married. Lucky dog!! that's proper tidy. I love that girl. Ya mum if you could hold on to all of my friends wedding invitations I would appreciate that mucho. Just sticck them in my room if needs be :)

So dad do you mind getting me Jeanette's address again? I have tried sending things for her 3 times now with the address I recieved or even email address would be fine and it's nevr worked, always gets back to me. :(

Matt the pictures were taken at a less actives house in Newcastle Emlyn.. Sister lauritzen and Elder Walton (elder Johnson was there too obviously...) took them for me and ya... we laughed pretty hard as well. Now remember the D word is not bad here it's like our crap, rude to some, but acceptable over all. So I just gave you some pure British humour.. not too apostate humour ;)

The baptism this weekend went well and in a few years I think he will appreciate it more, but it was a trial of his faith and oh how blessed I feel to have been a part of it all. Life is great and the chruch is in fact true. We are so very blessed to know what we know and be able to share it with others. I am having the time of my life and it's not easy, but it's all worth it!! Thank oyu for helping me serve the Lord. Every prayer and every act of serveice one to another helps me in more ways than you will ever know!! Keep sharing all your experiences with me. I love them all!!!

 

Sista Fili... chchchchia

 

ps. Today is my 9 month mark. Half way... holy camridge.

 

Alrighty family... how are all of you!!! man every week is so fantastic and everyweek something happens when I think of at least one of you if not all of you and go.. yes I am so appreciative of my family and or I am in awe with your testimonies. I was thinking this week of the miracle it is that sooooo many are so strong in the church. Being with so many who aren't (less actives) and then knowing some of the needs of the faithful strong members you begin to realize that a testimony is nothing short of a miracle. It is hard work to keep up and having a faith in jesus Christ is not always 'cool' by the standing of the world, but how 'cool' is it really... we know God. The creator of the universe the Father of our spirits, the supreme being and the coolest part is he not only knows us, he loves us and each of us can have a very personal relationship with Him if we but walk into His light.. I don't know any celebrity of higher up in the world that has such easy ccess.. because really someone who is perfect is no respector of persons, because he loves perfectly and has no prejudice. man we are sooo lucky to know these things.

in Relief Society this week we were talking about Charity. It was the 2nd lesson in the George Albert Smith book ... brilliant isn't it... and I was able to share an experience or two about my airplane rides and then I just said.. ya know my mother has neverfr met a stranger, and she is sooo observant of people, I think that's why. She recognizes her borther and sisters when she sees them, because she allows herself to see them and then to speak with them. Now our whole family and alot of our friends are like this and at that moment I realized how blessed I am to have grown up with these examples of righteousness. One of the ladies comments and said, you're right no one is really a stranger, they're just not seen for who they really are. Isn't it sooo true. Never see anyone as a stranger, you might not be able to remembe their name from before and hey may frustrate you but deep inside ll people is our brother and or sister and how glorious the reunion will be on the otherside when we talk and joke about sorry I didn't recognize you I was a little lost, but you said hello to me and it sparked something in me, I just couldn't put my finger on it. I hope I can be that for someone.. I hope we can all be that for everyone.

This last week, Damien, our investigator who is getting baptized this weekend slipped up a bit on his smoking stuff and he's been working for a about 4 months for baptism and it's finally at his finger tips and oh the broken heart he had when he thought all was lost. The chains of the devil are binding, but the light and lvoe Christ gives is freeing. We called president to find out if he had to push the baptism back or not and president's reply was it's up to you and sister Brooks, if you think he's repentant and truly repentant then we can't deny him the cleansing power of the atonement through baptism. That is alot of responsibility president, thank you... ahhh.. that's how we felt. But we botyh prayed soooo sincerely and in my thoughts this morning I thought about choice and agency. I thought about how when forced to do things that are good and put down if not doing them we kick against them and justify our bad behaviour, but when we're given a choice between right and wrong not condescending, but with consequences on both ends, given the whole side of it we actually begin to use logic. What a concept the lord allows us to figure out. he gave us the option before we came to eartyh to choose His plan and forego Satan's but while on the earth we still can choose what plan we want because the war is not over and some do choose satan's plan after a while and they are bound to him and it is the saddest thing to watch becuse they llose everything and have no choice. Even when the good option is given, they don't like it becasaeu it's hard or they feel unworthy and will never be good enough for it and therefore forego the blessings of freedom in God. This morning I was reading in Ether 15 and Coriantumr finally figures out that the prophet Ether was telling the truth. his prophesies have come to pass every whit and goes and repents. However his people do not and forefeight that option to have the spirit of Christ with them to help them win the battle against Shiz (literally and metephorically ;)) and in verse 19 it states what the consequense was.. satan had rule over them and he would not save them, for he does not love them. How merciful our God is to give us a choice.. I pray we will never forefeight the choice to have joy in our lives. That we will never forget that God is freedom and loves us unconditionally. here is a quote my lovely companion gave me 9oh by the way it was transfers this week and we are staying the same!)

'We must be willing to place all that we have not just our possessions (they may be the easiest things or all to give up) but also our ambition, pride, stubborness, and vanity. We must place it all on the altar of fgod, kneel down in silent submission and willinggly walk away.' - Jeffrey R. Holland

I love you all!! keep up the good member missionary work you are so incredible at!!

Sista Fili!!!!

alright family, man how I love you super much!!! thank you mum for all the stuff. just my little mini hymn book would be nice. it's in my lime green scripture case under my desk on the shelf... right side of computer desk first shelf below :) that would be great to get to have so I am never lacking. Thanks again for the primary children's song book one too!! I really want ot use them while I study as well (thank you kendra for that inspiration) Also from last week the castle's.. I have seen a very few since I've been here. The big one's haven't been in my area's and they cost monery and I am lucky enough to get put into companionships where we have fun, but are so tired out by pday we do what we must and chill out and write the trillion letters I am behind on. I am super blessed to have people to write, who write.. but changing area's I jsut have more now with all the stuff |I promised from my last area! oh well. eventually it will all happen. But they are great.. any surprises in the mail this week? ;)

Family thank you for your upliftment for how you support me and for the love I feel from you. It encourages me to work work work. I am finding that as I work harder on people and focus less on me and what I need to work on my purpose begins to sink deep into my heart and I start having weird cheesey missionary dreams that I get exciteed about because I think maybe that means I am starting to focus like i should. I really pray that things get better and better in that area. Siser Brooks and |i are having fun people!!! it's been great. We met a few new people and are sooooo excited about them. I know this is God's work. I know he loves us and that as we follow Him diligently that we will become like Him and that others will see it, want to know and come unto Him as well. At zone meeting this last week I got to give a talk and it was actually exactly what I needed. maybe I will make a copy and send it to you at some point. I think Matt could use it for sure!! i lvoe missionary wortk and I lvoe the person that I am becoming.. I am learning that the natural man inside of me is the only part I don't like and get so excited to shrugg off, but it takes work daily to do so and new things creep up, but becasue of the grace and mercy of God I can be rid of the things that are not actually in my true nature to be. We are Sons and daughters of God, not the devil. Our true nature is to be like Him, not the opposite. Mum don't beat yourself up for the things you lack, you are so many more good things. matt I am stoked silly for yuou to get everything in and get your call!!! dad.. thank you for your testimony and for being an incredible husband. Heather and liz... best examples of future wicves and mums. locve you all perace!! sista fili

well family... it's been a week since I've spoken to you, but it feels like  FOREVER! ha no big woop. That's the life of a missionary I guess. i am soooo excited to hear about matt getting everything taken care of and to know that hopefully by the 17th we will know what part of the world is gonig to be blessed with the humor and testimony of Matthew Filichia.. I hope it's England personally.. Birmingham to be specific. ;) How insane would that be... miracle yo. none the less he's going to be bomb.com.

Dad I am glad to hear that everything is panning out well for you for this next part of the season, I know you are doin the Lrod's wor and and can not wait to see the EFY portion of the show... or hear it whatever you are sending me! Can't wait.

Little mcKenna getting married... INSANE!!! and Carrie told me Alli had her baby and man it is so incredible how life goes on at home and I feel like it shouldn,t but soooo glad that it is!! I am so glad that Meaghan was with the family on Christmas day!! so cool. i thought ward and Amber would go to utah.. but it's cool I am glad they had time with the family. That pasta dinner sounds brilliant... can we suggest it for nexxt year too? ;) haha

Well I feel so humbled this week to be a missionary. President has been pressing us to ind the family and over Christmas it seemed impossible. No one would open their door and accept stuff, and even our investigators were quiet. I haven't met them all to say the least!! but we finally found the family. And it is a blessing to get to tech them and hopefully they will fully accpet the gospel we are privileged to share. We even found a potential family on the same street. But I just feel very much the fact that there is so much to do, and I am not doing enough. i have so far to go and much more to grow. I jsut can't wait to become more and i feel like this new yaer is gonig to be it.

I missed family, but like that rest of the year you just don't think about it that much.. I mean dwell on it. You have thoughts and they only drive you to do more. Someone asked about wanting more of a break over the holiday and i said, if I had to take any longer of a break than we got I would get trunky.. working is what keeps you. I didn't come this far to party, but to work. If I was partying on Christmas without my familyi'd be sooo sad. but I guess spending time with other families was to some like partying.. but to me.. it was a form of work. You still have to be on your game. But it is enjoyable. I lvoe the ward here sooooo much. And my companion and I are starting to really click and it's good stuff. Sis. lauritzen and i were soooo unified, you are right mum... but this is good. I am learning alot...... again.

I am so grateful for our family. For my Saviour and for my good friends who have helped me to become more than I thought I ever could be. Thank you for my life and for part of my testimony. I lvoe you all.

Mum packages are just safer to send to the mission home. Thank you for everything from Christmas and in the future... I feel soooooo blessed. I hope you all know how much I love oyu.

D&C 101:7-9 my favorite scripture of the week. As we do our part He does His. I am sooo grateful for this knowledge.

Dad thanks for expressing your love for the BoM.. in church yesterday we had a huge discussion on it.. and I thought about the truth it has and the miracles i hve seen from it. It is truth. From cover to cover and we are blessed to know it, if we don't gain anyother blessing in life apart from the knowledge we have of the BOM we will still be more blessed than a man/woman who has everyother blessing apart from the BOM. It is the Lord's work to us today. thank the Lord for the many miracles we experience daily. I lvoe you and will talk to you soon!!

 

Love love love!!

 

Sista Fili (hopefully next weeks will be longer)

well family... it's been a week since I've spoken to you, but it feels like  FOREVER! ha no big woop. That's the life of a missionary I guess. i am soooo excited to hear about matt getting everything taken care of and to know that hopefully by the 17th we will know what part of the world is gonig to be blessed with the humor and testimony of Matthew Filichia.. I hope it's England personally.. Birmingham to be specific. ;) How insane would that be... miracle yo. none the less he's going to be bomb.com.

Dad I am glad to hear that everything is panning out well for you for this next part of the season, I know you are doin the Lrod's wor and and can not wait to see the EFY portion of the show... or hear it whatever you are sending me! Can't wait.

Little mcKenna getting married... INSANE!!! and Carrie told me Alli had her baby and man it is so incredible how life goes on at home and I feel like it shouldn,t but soooo glad that it is!! I am so glad that Meaghan was with the family on Christmas day!! so cool. i thought ward and Amber would go to utah.. but it's cool I am glad they had time with the family. That pasta dinner sounds brilliant... can we suggest it for nexxt year too? ;) haha

Well I feel so humbled this week to be a missionary. President has been pressing us to ind the family and over Christmas it seemed impossible. No one would open their door and accept stuff, and even our investigators were quiet. I haven't met them all to say the least!! but we finally found the family. And it is a blessing to get to tech them and hopefully they will fully accpet the gospel we are privileged to share. We even found a potential family on the same street. But I just feel very much the fact that there is so much to do, and I am not doing enough. i have so far to go and much more to grow. I jsut can't wait to become more and i feel like this new yaer is gonig to be it.

I missed family, but like that rest of the year you just don't think about it that much.. I mean dwell on it. You have thoughts and they only drive you to do more. Someone asked about wanting more of a break over the holiday and i said, if I had to take any longer of a break than we got I would get trunky.. working is what keeps you. I didn't come this far to party, but to work. If I was partying on Christmas without my familyi'd be sooo sad. but I guess spending time with other families was to some like partying.. but to me.. it was a form of work. You still have to be on your game. But it is enjoyable. I lvoe the ward here sooooo much. And my companion and I are starting to really click and it's good stuff. Sis. lauritzen and i were soooo unified, you are right mum... but this is good. I am learning alot...... again.

I am so grateful for our family. For my Saviour and for my good friends who have helped me to become more than I thought I ever could be. Thank you for my life and for part of my testimony. I lvoe you all.

Mum packages are just safer to send to the mission home. Thank you for everything from Christmas and in the future... I feel soooooo blessed. I hope you all know how much I love oyu.

D&C 101:7-9 my favorite scripture of the week. As we do our part He does His. I am sooo grateful for this knowledge.

Dad thanks for expressing your love for the BoM.. in church yesterday we had a huge discussion on it.. and I thought about the truth it has and the miracles i hve seen from it. It is truth. From cover to cover and we are blessed to know it, if we don't gain anyother blessing in life apart from the knowledge we have of the BOM we will still be more blessed than a man/woman who has everyother blessing apart from the BOM. It is the Lord's work to us today. thank the Lord for the many miracles we experience daily. I lvoe you and will talk to you soon!!

 

Love love love!!

 

Sista Fili (hopefully next weeks will be longer)